Terroryaki! by Jennifer K. Chung

Author:Jennifer K. Chung
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction/Literature, 3-Day Novel 2011, 3-Day Novel Contest, Seattle, Asian American, Writing Competitions, Food Carts, Teriyaki, Asian Food, Humour, Ghost Stories, Jennifer K. Chung
ISBN: 978-1-55152-464-1
Publisher: Arsenal Pulp Press
Published: 2011-05-15T00:00:00+00:00

TERIYAKI-DO:

THE WAY OF TERIYAKI

Review: Puyallup Fair

Pat and I Did the Puyallup.

There, I said it. I hate the slogan, but I love the fair, even if the prices and the crowds seem to go up every year. This is a food blog, so I’ll skip everything but the food—but for the record, Adam Lambert was fabulous .

You can find teriyaki at the fair, although it is scarce. (You might not want to; fair teriyaki is hardly a fair fare affair.) Wok King Cliché stirs up their Americanized Chinese menu with an oversweetened chicken teriyaki with sauce and chicken that are both of dubious provenance. The generic booth with the bright “Teri-Yaki” banner is likewise Terri-Ble, no matter how much nonsensical kanji and hiragana they paint on their sign.

The only fair teriyaki worth eating isn’t really teriyaki at all. Hold Me, Grill Me, Kiss Me offers a chicken-on-a-stick option with a soy-based teriyaki-like sauce. It’s more like yakitori, but it is far superior to the teriyaki-in-name-only slop being slung at the other booths.

This year, Hold Me is located near the petting zoo. Sometimes, live chickens strut around outside, oblivious to the barbaric acts you’re perpetrating on their deceased brethren. Chickens are kind of dumb, so it’s not like they know or care, but it’s kind of awkward, especially if you drop a chunk of meat around them. (Simple solution: Don’t drop it. Just eat it.)

And now for something completely different.

Teriyakiphiles can skip the remainder of this post. We’re going to talk about The Hungry Weatherman, a new weather-themed vendor whose teriyaki-free menu is too fun not to share.

First: The corn-nado, fresh-roasted corn on the cob, dipped and fried in cornbread batter and served with a side of spicy creamed corn. The effect is a-maize-ing.

Second: Cliff Massmallows, sticky cumulus clouds of white popcorn bound together with marshmallow fluff. The treats are as breezy as the UW meteorologist’s weather blog posts.

Then—there is the funnel cloud. There were reports of real funnel clouds in Puyallup last year, swirling pre-tornadoes in the sky. The Hungry Weatherman represents them in food with a hacked-up cotton candy machine filled with hot oil, running cones around the edges to quickly collect thin strips of extruded funnel cake batter. The result is a hand-held lump of light, crispy, deep-fried goodness covered in a snow of powdered sugar and a sweet, gooey lemon curd with a tart streak like lightning.

Meteorological phenomena never tasted so good.

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